thinking about drinking in moderation

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Permalink Reply by evergreen78 on July 7, 2009 at 5:27pm

You Are Not Alone. Haven't you heard the AA definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over & over, expecting different results. (Actually, Albert Einstein said that.) Anyhoo, the 2nd Step says, "Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." This implies, of course, that we are somehow insane. OK. The insanity of the 2nd Step is NOT all the crazy BS we did while drinking - dancing nekkid on the bar, wearing lampshade on our head, driving without a license, writing hot checks, etc., etc. No. The insanity implied in the 2nd Step is exactly what you're talking about. . . It's that little thing in our head that says, "Welll. . . Maybe I could just have ONE." See?

What Step are you on? They say that if you're having a problem with a Step, go back to the one before that. Perhaps you need to go back to the 2nd Step. . . or maybe even the 1st Step.

The BB says (p.31) "Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of self-deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic." Further down the same page, it says "We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition."

Most folks nowadays don't like to encourage people to try some more drinking, but that's what the Book says. I hope you've noticed that nowhere in the 12 Steps or in the BB does it say "Stop drinking." The BB offers us a "design for living" AFTER we have decided to stop drinking and turn our will and our lives (our thoughts and our actions) over to the care of "God as we understand Him." See?

When I was in AA the 1st time & got to the point where it was either drink or blow my head off, I drank. I don't believe to this day that there was anything anyone could have done to stop me. I wasn't "done" yet. It took every drink I ever drank for me to get where I'm at today, but I hope I don't have to have another one. Bottom line: This is a decision you must make for yourself. All I can say is, If you'll get a sponsor & take the Steps (all 12 of them!), your drinking problem will be REMOVED. (That's on p.85.)

Later! :)

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Permalink Reply by Aaron Orsak on July 7, 2009 at 7:58pm

All alcoholics have thought this very thing....over and over and over again. My (God willing) last relapse was July 4th through 6th of last year. I had been sober for about 3 months when a friend of mine invited me to have lunch with her on the 4th. When we got to the restaurant she ordered a beer for herself and it occured to me that since I had been sober for 3 months I had this thing under control and could have a beer myself. I had heard a million times in meetings that the first drink robs us of our choice in drinking but I, like every other alkie on Earth, figured I was the exception to that particular rule. Man, was I wrong!!

3 days later I was pulled out of a room of the hotel that shared the parking lot with the restaurant we were at. Had I not run out of money, God knows how long I would have been there. My friend was lucky. She's not an alcoholic and was able to have one beer and leave. I am an alcoholic and, once that allergy started up, I no longer had ANY control of how much I would drink and for how long.

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Permalink Reply by Linda Anne on July 7, 2009 at 9:31pm

Don't do it man its that simple! I run in place sometimes to make it go away. I will pray for me and you. Just do not do it!Linda Anne

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Permalink Reply by Catherine M on February 12, 2010 at 2:16am

Thanks for the good reminders here. I too keep thinking it will be different this time...I've cried over the fact that I can't drink "normally"...it's so frustrating, but I'm accepting that this is how it is with me.

I had 9 years sober, 11 years out drinking, 5 months sober, 2 months out...and now I'm back to 15 days. I think I've FINALLY learned!

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Permalink Reply by Lynn on July 7, 2009 at 10:42pm

thre is no control Brian. Once addicted the only way to tame the monster is to elimate it.
I thought I had that power. I even had a therepist tell me have two, "behavior modification: BS... two leads to three... and before you know it I was down drinks...passing out.
I'm an intelligent health care worker. I have a passion for people and life. I also have a passion for merlot. I can't control the wine. I have to let it go, because I want to live.

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Permalink Reply by Linda Anne on July 7, 2009 at 10:46pm

Right on Girlfriend.. Hope your doing okay Lynn!

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Permalink Reply by Tommy on July 8, 2009 at 12:28am

Matty listed some pretty good questions to ask, yourself Brian. Several friends have told me the first thought they had before spiraling to a relapse was, "Geez, maybe I over-reacted."

I keep a card in my wallet with the following 12 STEPS OF NON-RECOVERY:

1) We admitted we were powerless over nothing, that we could manage our lives perfectly and those of anyone else who would allow us to.

2) Came to believe there was no power greater than ourselves and the rest of the world was insane.

3) Made a decision to have our loved ones and friends turn their will and their lives over to our care, even though they couldn't understand us.

4) Made a searching moral and immoral inventory of everyone we knew.

5) Admitted to the whole world the exact nature of everyone else's wrongs.

6) Were entirely ready to make the others straighten up and fly right.

7) Demanded others to either shape up or ship out.

8) Made a list of all persons who had harmed us and became willing to go to any length to get even with them all.

9) Got direct revenge on such people whenever possible, except when to do so would cost us our lives, or at the very least, a jail sentence.

10) Continued to take the inventory of others, and when they were wrong promptly and repeatedly told them about it.

11) Sought through complaining and nagging to improve our relations with others, as we couldn't understand them, asking only that they knuckle under and do it our way.

12) Having had a complete physical, emotional and spiritual breakdown as a result of these steps, we tried to blame it on others and to get sympathy and pity in all our affairs.

Tommy

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Permalink Reply by evergreen78 on July 8, 2009 at 12:37am

I LOVE THAT!!! "Geez, maybe I over-reacted." I had that EXACT thought MYSELF!!!

One of the first mtgs I went to back in '02, this guy shared that when he drank, he woke up like this: Open one eye. Open the other eye. "MY house! YES! It's ALWAYS a good day when I wake up at MY house!" And I knew I was in the right place.

I LOVE THIS FELLOWSHIP!!! Woo-Hoo!!! I Am Not Alone!!! I CAN'T STAND IT!!! :)

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Permalink Reply by Linda on July 9, 2009 at 7:55am

That is great! I will print that and keep that in my wallet and bring it out when my stinking thinking tells me that I can control my drinking.

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Permalink Reply by Kevin on August 23, 2009 at 2:42am

sometime i think that sometimes your brain is not your friend. that is why faith, friends and family ca n be the suport network to keep on track. Give up on the control thing. Concentrate on what you really have control over like your happiness, which is your full time job in life. Alcohol never gets you there

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Permalink Reply by Carolyn C on August 25, 2009 at 3:33pm

Been there too. Don't think.....get a sponsor and start working the steps. You will always think like an alcoholic until you change your thinking. Are you ready to go to any lenghts to stop drinking and treat your disease? (YES) Then get into action. (NO) then go out and try some more drinking and increasing your YET list. Big Book pg 15, "If he did not work, he would surely drink again, and if he drank, he would surely die." Stay for the miracle,
Your sister in soberity

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Permalink Reply by Catherine M on February 12, 2010 at 2:30am

You'll always think like an alcoholic until you change your thinking...

That makes a lot of sense...I've been an alcoholic way longer than I've ever been sober in my life. Thanks for making that point

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