Other Peoples Drama

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Permalink Reply by evergreen78 on December 13, 2009 at 11:35am

We are powerless, of course, over what other people think, or say or do. So, some things my sponsor taught me: (1) As Moonpie said - pick your battles. My sponsor would ask herself, "Is this the mountain that I want to die on today?" (2) The very 1st thing my sponsor ever taught me, & the one I use the most: "Oh, well. . . NEXT!"

A third thing that my sponsor told me was that once I began to put God (whatever that means to you) FIRST, then other people's opinions would matter a lot less to me. You know what? She was right. :)

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Permalink Reply by Dave E on December 16, 2009 at 11:15pm

I don't know about you, but for me when ever other people's behavior gets on my nevers it is usually something in me that I have had or am still having problems with. I like for people to upset me, it give's me a chance to look a little closer at my self. Sometimes people don;t want help just want your pittie. Stay on your toe's and do what ever you have to do to stay sober, I have had to seperate myself from people I thought I could'nt live without. My your God be with you in your times of trouble.

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Permalink Reply by angela new leaf on December 30, 2009 at 2:22pm

this is soooooo where i am and what i have been looking for help with....

i too am just tryin to do the next rite thing and......poooooof someone is burstin my pink cloud........thankk you for reminding me what im doing......trying to stay sober.,,,,,me trying to stay sober ......helpin you if you ask......but if you dont ask...im not mind reader.......i too got very stressed and it manifested in the form of tears in a meeting for and hour and a half........what i found is.........i would rather be told the truth in a hash form than an opiniion in a phoney delivery......
thank you for having this discussion posted.....i am not alone........

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Permalink Reply by Mark D. on June 8, 2010 at 5:41pm

Hi Jason,

This may not relate to your circumstance, but when I got sober and came into AA, all my family was relapsing and heading out. Needless to say, they felt the need to justify themselves, like alcoholics do in their disease, and "my name came into it" as you relay in your share here. The situation kept escalating with them feeding the drama with gossip and accusation.

To stay sober I had to detach from the drama and the disease they were indulging. I didn't chop them out of my life. I just refused to get involved with what ever little bonfire of drama they lit up. I also had to bless them rigorously, and every time they did another offense, or rudeness. Needless to say, they got a lot of blessings from me.

At one point my sponsor mentioned in passing that my benign balanced mercy towards my sick family was an amends, both to them, and to God, for all the drama and madness I had put out in the world during my disease. It also cleared my conscience that I know I have gone the second mile in forgiveness, and in trying to 12th step them.

In the end, in my case, the ones who wouldn't come back in to AA have slowly drifted away. A sober, honest man, who won't join in their drama, is simply no fun to a rioting self-will.

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